98 the law of equivalent trade dominantly exists in the midst of grace

this morning was intense, partially due to a dream, partially due to my negativity and worries. i didn't want to ignore it and keep myself busy so i kept these thoughts whirling around in my mind longer. it literally felt like my mind was going to blow and i was going to end up going crazy. i believe it was the grace of God that sustained me.

perhaps the primary way to look at pain and suffering is as a sign of growth. i'd rather be put through difficulty and tire out and emotionally wracked than to stay stagnant and cluelessly stagnant. it's ironic how i always ask God to take away my pride, and I always get mad at Him when He does so. did i think that the extraction of my flesh would be pain-free and simple? clearly, the deeper my pride, the deeper the hurt.

running away from the pains and chaos in your mind and heart would simply create disaster. the importance is for Truth to enter in.

86 wow, haven't heard sonicflood for years; used to love them much

it's quite interesting to see the uniqueness of each fellowship. lots of pros and cons, generally more cons. but that's just the way i perceive things. i'm really grateful for all the leadership training they have at Willows Creek and elsewhere. it's crazy.

seriously...sonicflood is so good. don't like his voice too much though.

45 hypocritical deception

out of all the things, i don't even know why i blog of this. anyways, today i went to cooper after not being there for the past two months or so. went to computer center and stayed for like 1.5 hours. i've been to the city (mainly bobst) countless times over the summer already and it's been good. however, stepping foot in the cooper building and walking around and leaving the place, i felt so much like i was at home. it's quite weird, i didn't expect it. but i felt so at peace and reflective. that's pretty much it.