The lost think they're found; the found realize how lost they are. and that's often the paradox of seeking and pursuing after God- it's that He was the one who pursued you first. and it's crazy because the more you know God, they more you realize how much you do not know Him.
(by the way, the headline or title for this entry does not relate to Christianity. please do not misunderstand)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
735 it has never rained so much in this city for a long time
today i woke 2 hours later than i wanted to. perhaps it was because of the dream(s) i have had. they were pretty nightmarish for the most part. there are several parts of it such as me living alone on the 13th floor of an old run-down building that was pitch black and suddenly, this little humanish creature taps me on the shoulder behind me and i was mad chilled about it, but the dark still freaked me out and i tried running down the stairs but they were blocked so i jumped down and ran and ran. anyways...
the part that interested me most in my dreams was the part of casting out demons. a huge assembly of people were sitting and eating and apparently, one by one, someone gets possessed by the devil. to my surprised, it wasn't really scary. a couple of people just chased after them and in the name of Jesus, casted them out. however, there was once where no one else was around, and i was there with a possessed being. i was confident in casting the demon out in Jesus name and i spoke aloud for the demon to flee in the name of Jesus. but it didn't work. i got scared. yet, i wasn't scared of the demon at all. i didn't know why the demon did not leave. i got scared because maybe God was never with me. maybe my Christian life is a lie and I haven't really accepted Jesus in my life. it stunned my every being and i felt hopeless and shamed. later on, i realized that i needed to say more to the demon, speaking on and on about how Jesus conquers all and that the devil is already defeated. it felt like trash-talking to me. i don't believe this is how you cast demons out in the real world. i believe the simple mention of Jesus' name will be enough, commanding them once and causing them to shudder and flee.
the part that interested me most in my dreams was the part of casting out demons. a huge assembly of people were sitting and eating and apparently, one by one, someone gets possessed by the devil. to my surprised, it wasn't really scary. a couple of people just chased after them and in the name of Jesus, casted them out. however, there was once where no one else was around, and i was there with a possessed being. i was confident in casting the demon out in Jesus name and i spoke aloud for the demon to flee in the name of Jesus. but it didn't work. i got scared. yet, i wasn't scared of the demon at all. i didn't know why the demon did not leave. i got scared because maybe God was never with me. maybe my Christian life is a lie and I haven't really accepted Jesus in my life. it stunned my every being and i felt hopeless and shamed. later on, i realized that i needed to say more to the demon, speaking on and on about how Jesus conquers all and that the devil is already defeated. it felt like trash-talking to me. i don't believe this is how you cast demons out in the real world. i believe the simple mention of Jesus' name will be enough, commanding them once and causing them to shudder and flee.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
978 i've clearly slacked
I don't feel like typing much, as with the past few days. That's the reason for my lack of entries. I'm just going to use this entry to give an unsatisfactory plug for this really sick book I'm reading. It's called SAILING BETWEEN THE STARS by Steven James. It is really really good and i would highly recommend it. It talks about the mysteries of faith and the richness of paradoxes. Agathokakological is the word.
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