r. day 140 though it's less than He deserves

One Desire Fast- a week-long fast from 6 am - 6 pm for the purpose of seeking after God and His direction for our church, an outward expression of our hunger for God. If only we hungered for spiritual food more than physical food...

It's insane how good God has been/is to me. Especially with this fast, i've been blessed so greatly. the hunger pains isn't as bad as I imagined, but that's only a minor aspect of it. i really gained a sense of what hungering for God looks like and every time I feel hungry, I'm reminded of praying earnestly and living my life for God. The focus, the energy, the passion, the faith, is something that comes all from Him and not from me. I found myself praying, a lot, and not dry prayers, but prayers of desperateness and of delight. To be caught up in Him, to truly be thankful of Him, to see the depths of my sins no matter how trivial they may seem at first, not only humbles me but increases my desire to love Him and to bless those around me with His love. certain sins, it feels so much easier to run away and overcome as I'm immersed in my relationship with Him. Though certainly still a tremendously great struggle, makes me more dependent on Him.

Updates:
--got accepted in Tuteja's research group! (the professor I talked to last Wednes)
--One Desire Fast has been great as mentioned
--started on my journey to read the Bible in one year (hope i'll make it through)
--won our first IM basketball game this past Sunday
--volunteered at a middle school in Detroit on MLK Day with life group and it was a huge blast

q. day 130 inciting incidents that are much needed

just to clarify, the day number is counted based on the days i'm here in ann arbor, even if it's for a few hours, but this does not include the days i'm in ny for break or whatnot.

I thought going back to NY for winter break was where I'll be hit with spiritual attacks and surely, there were a few. What my short-sightedness failed to realize was that the terror started back when I came back to Ann Arbor, the place where I thought was safe. I won't go into details but there were huge unrest with my heart as to my future and my relationships with people, started worrying a lot more, fearing of discomfort and what God will challenge me to do especially in the area of telling others about Christ, strong sense of laziness and even lack of purpose, feeling as if I have all the time in the world and not making the best out of each day, temptations of earthly desires and of materialism as if buying more stuff will make me feel like a new person, a better person.

Upcoming Events:
--talk with professor on Wednes about hopefully joining his research group
--aiv men's retreat friday to sat
--hmcc congregational revival fri and sat (but i'm only going Sat cause of retreat)
--hmcc ministry meeting on 1/22 (need to attend before I can serve on a ministry team)
--hmcc one desire fast (so afraid I won't make it)
--iv Imago Dei conference (not sure if I'm going yet. most likely I will)
--aiv IntraMurals basketball 5 on 5 starting very soon
--