w. 233 the pain of silence

finals week. taking only 3 class but somehow seems like the most hectic week. most other ppl were down with everything last week or have only a paper or one easy exam this week... I've still got 2 projects and 2 finals left. meanwhile, surprisingly many random negative little things popping out such as leaving my wallet at gym and locked out of my apartment til 2:15 am, light bulb died after less than a week of use, jammed finger, etc. I say all this not as a means to complain. I'm certainly learning what it means to not complain but to rejoice in all situations. Nonetheless, it is certainly quite challenging. Sometimes I wonder why can't God make things easier by being more strongly present. I wonder who much more I can be efficient and focused on doing His will than taking time to sit back and reflect and think about Him. but i suppose that is the more important thing- to seek Him rather than seek to do His work.

4/28-5/4 Chapter Focus Week (Basileia equivalent) with AIV
5/5-5/12 New York City
Late evening 5/12 Ann Arbor for rest of Summer

v. day 225 one day skipped cause of easter

Human depravity- it's a sad thing. I realized the more I've gotten to know people now, the more I value and seek to deepen my relationship with them. As C.S. Lewis puts it, it's not that our love for people to is so great, it's that our love for God is too small. Our love for people is too big in comparison to our love for God, but that just points to how small our love for God really is. I've noticed I stopped yearning to seek after His face, His beauty, His glory. I'm mindful of it, but I don't truly seek after it, partially consumed with the busy-ness of every day. But what is life if God not be the center of it all?

The many updates much shortened:
--research has picked up a bit and school is general is approaching finals and final projects. been a very hectic week and still more to come.
--lost in second round of playoffs for AIV co-ed volleyball but absolutely loved seeing people on our team get so much better at vball.
--went back home to ny for easter sunday cause sister got baptized! got to know about her faith a bit more and caught up with several people including my brother and parents.
--past saturday was baptism at hmcc and absolutely blown away by the 13 testimonies (i missed my flight to ny partially because of this. hehe.)
--last night was grad night at hmcc (and senior send off at aiv which i missed) with 37 graduating seniors and grad student as well as a few performances by other undergrads. also absolutely blown away by those 37 testimonies (i only stayed for prob 25 maybe) pointing to our human depravity and the greatness and goodness and grace of God.

Random dreams:
--I was Harry Potter.
--It's Thursday morning and Max told me he has a wedding on Saturday and that the rehearsal was tonight. He calls me later on the night and told me he got drunk so rehearsal was Friday night instead.