many ppl have asked me how my research is. i always tell them it's alright, somewhat frustrating but not too bad. in reality, it kind of sucks. any progress i make is minuscule and takes too long/detail of an explanation. Setbacks and things that just don't work well is what i constantly face, the negativity far outweighs the positivism. part of me has secretly given up. i realize i spend so much of the day not doing actual research, mainly because i'm at a loss on how to proceed or the samples are not ready to be used or things i'm not able to obtain without the assistance of another individual. and it naturally feeds into laziness and lack of motivation. it feels as if other ppl's projects in the lab are more tangible and makes more sense and easier to get decent results.
i wonder sometimes if this is how ppl view life, in this way, where failure is all they see. the plethora of negativity far outweighing any slivers of good. but even worse so, all around them, people are either doing really well or at least better than how they're doing. it must be a sad way of life.
this was an entry that should have belonged in my actual journal but as i reflected on why this blog was called fragments of imperfections, i realize how little i talk about my complaints and frustrations, which readily ties into my weakness.
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