141 white lampshades on silver lightstand

Much to write. Which means a huge chunk shall be omitted.

These next three weeks or so will be quite exciting. It's insane the amount of workload. 23.5 credits is no joke especially towards the end of the semester. From final exams to projects to lab reports and essays to presentations and even strenuous homeworks. At the same time, cannot slack with IV, with encouraging others, with engaging in spiritual conversations, in prayer. To be honest, some sick twisted part of me finds this exciting. The amount of workload is intensifying, perhaps even terrifying, but it's exciting. There's so much to be done and I'll try my best to get them done, plus more.

In comparison, I'm mad exciting for this winter break and next semester. More free studying this break as well as next semester. It feels so wrong to be taking 13.5 credits. It feels way too little. I am strongly tempted to take at least one more class, if not two, but I think I'll find the free time useful. Hopefully I can focus more on leading and learning other things.

750 setting up digital cable modem

To condense this section into one paragraph is too challenging. Therefore, there shall be two. It's been bugging me more as of lately though i've read through explanations of such for quite some time. the thing i love about AW Tozer is that he explains things so clearly, evidently, and honestly that there isn't room for more interpretation.

A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven (John 3:27). So much of the church today secures in theology and intellect and reason. This is good. However, man by reason alone cannot know God. Spirit can embrace the intellect but the human intellect can never comprehend spirit. Reason can bring us as far as the external of truth but the deeper mysteries of God remain hidden until we receive illumination from God. Mental failure often leads us to secure spiritual pleasures by working upon fleshly emotions and synthesizing feelings from intense music and artistry. Much of the church today do not rely on the Spirit.

This whole idea leads on to who and when and why does God reveal His Spirit? is it our fault if He chooses not to enlighten us? This question was raised by myself recently as i was sharing the Gospel with my friend and a couple of times in the past. i told them what i told them but the Gospel is not something they just simply accept and be done with. they can't force an encounter with God. i had troubling answering when they will encounter God. it's more of a matter that they seek after Him.

I wonder whether i will ever get an answer as to when and why God chooses to reveal Himself to people, even to me for the matter. Regardless, there are some thing that are kept as mysteries and our job is solely to fall more in love with Him and to respond to what He chooses to reveal to us. That, I shall do.

115 if only it were that easy

Sometimes, my days become measured by my productivity, mostly in terms of academics. I was able to realize just how anal i was with the issue of time. Two hour is a huge loss when it comes to roaming around the streets of manhattan adamant on finding parking. three hours of class can be an interminable wait of wanting it to be over with even though the subject at hand is interesting. two hours of chinese chess in midst of craziness becomes depressing. 30 minutes of waiting for starbucks is highly unnecessary. 10 minutes of waiting in line for free pie becomes unbearable. perhaps sitting down to eat dinner with friends, becomes a tad less enjoyable though still good. the mind is a crazy thing. moral for the day? don't let work consume you i guess. who knows.

111 While he saw himself large and God small he was insane; sanity returned only as he began to see God as all and himself as nothing

I'm amazed at how much more of God's love I can experience- in consistency and in depth. I was quite a deceived child.

I've experience yet again. The more I know God, the more I realize how little I know about Him. It's unsettling and it keeps my mouth from moving. Yet, it's quite intriguing and rational.

Perhaps there's a problem when we don't believe we are the worse sinners.

201 the tragedy of the three little pigs

they speak of the tongue as the rudder of the boat though small, yet steers its movement. the unseen or insignificant part that reveals the heart and sets the forest on fire. at the same time, the tongue is used to praise God, encourage men, and proclaim the Good News. what is the point of the tongue if one were not to use it to do so? if one were to sit back and say no such words because he thinks what if i say the wrong things? perhaps there's a story behind my biting of the tongue a couple of days ago, which scars has still remained.

applications are unapplicable unless your theology and interpretation is sound.

403 Lord move, or move me

I hate typing when there's so much chaos going on because everything is so jumbled and unclear and all over the place. I wouldn't know how to start and continue and flow everything together. I also hate writing when there's so much joy and satisfaction because words will easily cheapen the intensity of the experience. I find it pays no justice to speak when i cannot finish. but sometimes i must speak even if it's incomplete. but i'll reserve that for next time.